Before I head off to explore Baltimore this afternoon, I had two questions from friends of mine last night that I thought were valid and hard-hitting enough that I should address them publicly as my meditation this morning. I won’t be writing something like this every morning, but given the comfort of my present environment (in which I will probably have to go ahead and stay the next two nights since this is about as close to Sandtown-Winchester as I can get without just going ahead and sleeping on the street), I’ve found it easier to take the time to focus on writing. Here goes:
1) How am I affording the time and money for this journey?
As a Duke Divinity student, we are required to complete at least two units of what is called field education (field ed), and these are internships in churches and non-profit agencies that count toward our graduation requirements. We can opt for two varieties of these internships: summer placements (40 hours a week over ten weeks) or academic year placements (15 hours a week over two semesters). The typical divinity student does two summer placements following the first and second years, and some especially bold souls take on academic year placements in their second and/or third years. Again, that leaves the average graduating third year with two or three placements under their belt. Though only having just finished my second year, I have already been blessed to do four of these placements. I signed up for a church placement during the summer before my first year; I stayed on at that church throughout the academic year as an additional credit; I took a placement at a non-profit the following summer; and I just wrapped up my final field ed placement at a Baptist church in northern Chatham County, NC. I do not have any required credits to fulfill this summer, so I have the time to work on a directed study instead.
Here’s a chart that I hope will explain all these field ed credits more clearly:
Term Standard Paradigm masochist (i.e. me)
Pre-enrollment: X
1st academic year: X
1st summer: X X
2nd academic year: X
2nd summer: X ???
3rd academic year: X (maybe)
*X = one unit of field education
The money is an even greater blessing. The big secret that’s not so secret is that Duke Divinity field ed placements are by far the best paying work available to students. Field ed interns receive a slight tuition break, a stipend, mileage reimbursements, plenty of free meals, and usually a few monetary contributions from church members as a parting gift. Frankly, I just did the work to stay active in the church and discern my place in it, but in the process, I accidently built up a fairly comfortable little nest egg. You are only supposed to have three fully-paid field ed placements, but because I did one the summer before I was enrolled, I received payment for all four of mine. I am forever grateful for the additional financial stability that this money has provided me over the past two years, and I think that setting some of it aside for this trip is a very appropriate use of it. Of course, I’m not exactly a spendthrift, so I’m doing everything I can to cut down on costs as I travel: keeping a box of granola bars that I can eat instead of stopping somewhere for lunch, staying with friends and family wherever possible, camping out to avoid hotel costs, etc. I’ve been incredibly lucky financially, and I’ve had a lot of very generous people help me out along the way (through school, church, and family), but I’m still not exactly loaded.
2) Isn’t it a little inappropriate to study churches’ approaches to the poor and impoverished through such an elaborate and privileged format as a glorified roadtrip?
The short answer is yes. If that were all I was doing this summer, it would be totally inappropriate. In fact, it would fly in the face of everything I believe. There are plenty of places that I could research more locally around Durham, and a significant amount of my research could be done through websites, journal articles, emails, and phone calls. The firsthand experience really isn’t necessary to the statistical aspect of things, and if I stayed local, then I would probably be able to use my spare time to volunteer and put an extra set of hands toward alleviating suffering in my community.
There’s more to it than that though. A lot more to it. Look, I’m almost 24, and I’ve been stuck in an academic ivory tower as long as I can remember. Between field ed and classes and discussions in the student lounge, I’ve been bombarded with so many different perspectives on what the church is supposed to be that I’m now yearning to rediscover it for myself. In three months’ time, my hope is to be an ordained pastor on my way to starting a church, but before then, I have to re-center myself and spend some time listening for heavenly whispers. With four field ed placements and four half-crazed academic semesters behind me, I have to grant myself some sort of Sabbath for a bit as I prepare to surrender myself fully to the ministry of God’s church. Yes, this summer is about studying the church. This summer is about studying what the church is. This summer is about studying what the church is capable of being. This summer is about studying what the church can do to better the lives of the people around it and bring them into harmony with Creation and with God. But this summer is also about me. It’s about discerning God’s will for my participation in the church’s mission. It’s about spending time in worship and prayer and reflection. It’s about visiting old friends and spiritual mentors who I haven’t seen in ages. It’s about taking in God’s Creation and repeating the refrain of Genesis 1: it is good.
I’m sure I could cobble together some biblical argument for this trip. I could talk more about how it’s supposed to be an extended Sabbath and an offering before God. I could talk about Mary and Martha or how Judas was upset by the waste of oil when Jesus was anointed prior to his arrest. Really though, the words that are sticking out the most to me right now are a piece of advice given to me by one of my former field ed supervisors. I was working for the InterFaith Council in Carrboro, NC, and frankly, I had become slightly addicted to the work. I did overtime daily and would work through lunch trying to make sure that the people who sought our assistance received everything we could possibly contribute. I was getting to know every client, sometimes having conversations in excess of an hour in the hopes that my attention could satisfy their emotional needs. I was being productive as all get out, but it was making me crabby, sarcastic, and quite unpleasant to be around. Finally, my supervisor pulled me aside and demanded that I go take an afternoon off. I’ll never forget her exact words: “Tom, people will be hungry whether you show up to work or not.” Yeah, I could spend this summer volunteering. I could stay closer to Durham. I could give every dime of my saved money away instead of putting it toward gas and food. But the problems of the world will still be there, and there is much more influencing my choice. There is more to be experienced and more to be learned. I’m spending a summer seeking and studying, worshiping and waiting, praying and pondering. What should the church look like? What should my role be?
This morning, I am reflecting on what a privilege it is to have this choice. It is a remarkable blessing to be able to afford the time and money to take a Sabbath. It is a remarkable blessing to be able to travel the country and study the church and be welcomed into the homes of friends and family along the way. It is a remarkable blessing to explore my roots (as I will do today in Baltimore) and to visit my old haunts (as I will do next week in Ohio). It is a remarkable blessing to have friends and family who are praying for me and talking with me via telephone and facebook and making sure that I don’t go crazy during all this solo driving. I am forever thankful to Duke University, to Fremont United Methodist Church, to the InterFaith Council, and to Lystra Baptist Church for helping me accrue the necessary credits and money for all of this. I am thankful to Second Baptist Church of Memphis, TN, my church home and spiritual sponsor, the church that will be ordaining me and affirming this call which I feel pulling me along on this journey. I am grateful to God for everything, for all those little things that have worked out just so. Let’s face it: I am really damn lucky.
Okay, time to grab a shower and head out to some of the important sites from my parents’ early years of marriage. I discovered last night that the little Greek restaurant where my folks used to have the occasional dinner out has really taken off and maybe gone a little more upscale, so even though I will probably opt for a less expensive lunch at Northeast Market, Ikaros will probably be the first place I visit today. I know that the city has changed a lot since my parents were here, but I’m still looking forward to walking around and trying to imagine the world through their eyes when they were my age.
Peace and Blessings,
Tom
No comments:
Post a Comment